


aphelion

by uchiwan



Series: the eternal song of sun and moon communicating their conflict across the sky. [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alien Mythology/Religion, Fictional Religion & Theology, For Want of a Nail, Gen, Mental Health Issues, Mental Illness, Mythology - Freeform, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sasuke needs therapy, Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto Friendship, Uchiha Sasuke Needs a Hug, Uchiha Sasuke-centric, Worldbuilding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:55:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25802476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uchiwan/pseuds/uchiwan
Summary: you are a traumatized boy with a vague recollection of life before the annihilation, of a time when you could step out of your bedroom without seeing the ghosts of your family, their sightless faces turned towards you, accusing you, cursing you. You are : a boy stalked by death and hatred; hatred is the flame that burns in your veins, a hatred for your brother that threatens to consume you ( hate me, detest me, curse me and survive in an unsightly way. Run, run and cling to your pitiful life ).You are Uchiha Sasuke and all you can see is a yawning abyss.
Relationships: Uchiha Clan & Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Itachi & Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Sasuke & Original Female Character(s), Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto, Uzumaki Naruto & Jiraiya
Series: the eternal song of sun and moon communicating their conflict across the sky. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1846084
Comments: 16
Kudos: 77
Collections: Incredible Sasuke Fics that make me cry





	aphelion

**Author's Note:**

> aphelion (n) : the point farthest from the sun in the path of an orbiting celestial body.

BOOK I : EARTH. 

' **For every new beginning, there must be an end**.'   
Excerpt from the _Prophecy of the Sun and Moon_ , translated by Master Tselha, circa. 120 AC.

A lost little boy wanders through a world of infinite greys; a world devoid of his clan, bleached of any of the colours of the world. Grief clings to him, surrounds him, buries itself inside the deep recesses of his body and tears flow like a river down his cheeks. It is bewildering, living in this new world without his family; in his dreams, his mother kisses him, the curve of her dimpled smile warmer than the fire of a thousand suns ( the sword pierces her chest, below the heart and she falls beside her husband ); his cousins squeal happily when he plays with them ( Momo lies behind Kaiji, the older boy's head is several feet from his body and Yue hides under the bed, curled in on herself as the life flows from her, her white hair shining in the darkness ). In his dreams, his grandmother tells him stories of their noble ancestors and her adventures to the spirit realm ( the fetid stench of her eyeless corpse burns his eyes ) . His dreams are a kaleidoscope of colour, but when he opens his eyes, all the colour vanishes and he’s left with the reminder that he’s alone. 

( red seeps into his dreams though; slow and insidious until the entire dreamscape is drenched in crimson ) 

The gates of the Uchichiku loom over him like the iron gates of the underworld, Yoshirou and Kuzo stand guard at the gates as if they are sentries to the underworld, their ghostly visages translucent in the afternoon light. He knows what he’ll find once he crosses the threshold : a land of eternal night, silent as the grave and stained with something primordial and wild - a blackness that stains the very earth ( and crawls deep into the deep caverns of his soul ).

Where there was once life, now there is only death.

There’s an icy coldness that spreads from the core of his heart to the tips of his fingers and toes, burrowing deep into his bones like the roots of the great tree that grows in the northern temple’s courtyard. They say an Uchiha’s anger burns **hot** , like the black flames of _amaterasu_ , but he’s found in the days following the massacre, his anger burns _cold_ and the only things that keep him from freezing is the power that swells inside him and the burning hate he feels for the crimson-stained yokai of his nightmares. 

He takes a deep breath, ignoring the two headless ghosts ( their heads tucked under their armpits ) waving at him, and steps through the threshold, the warmth of the wards and seals washing over him ( why didn’t they protect his family? why why _why_? is that not what they were there for, to protect the inhabitants of the uchichiku — so why, during their time of need, did they fail ? ). His inky black eyes take in the empty landscape of his home, studiously ignoring the dried blood that paints the colourless earth ( blood seeps from the wounds in his auntie and uncle’s bodies, their entrails splattered on the ground ). 

Whoever cleaned the bodies did a shoddy job of hiding the carnage and gore of the massacre, but even without the blood, Sasuke knows where their bodies landed. 

( Akiko lies on her side in a pool of her own blood, deathly pale hands stretched towards her twin sister’s headless, shuriken ridden corpse; she dies with her sister’s name on her lips. Kimi dies with a precise thrust to the heart, dark eyes widened with shock and fear — )

He grits his teeth, eyes trained forward as he moves through the district; he doesn’t want to see the souls wandering through the district, trapped in their place of death, unable to move forward, doesn’t want to watch the life bleed out from their bodies, or stare into their eyeless sockets ( he just wants to go home, curl up on his mother’s bed, bury himself in her scent ). It’s only been a month since the massacre ( and two days since he awoke from his coma ), but the pain of his family’s death gnaws at the very core of his being, like the yawning abyss of the Uchiha hunger ( he feels it there, sleeping, undiminished and unaffected no matter how much he eats ) .

* * *

Naruto steps into Konoha General with his godfather at his side, a bouquet of freshly picked lilies and chrysanthemums in his hand and a letter from Ino in his pocket, his eyes widening at the chaos that seems to have gripped the hospital. hospital staff rush past them, as though the devil chases them, barely sparing the two of them a glance and he counts at least three ANBU ( dog, cat, and bear ) and two Konoha nin with the standardized green flak jacket standing near the nurse’s station. He hopes that this doesn’t interfere in his visit with Sasuke; he has so much to tell him ( Sasuke doesn’t say much when he visits and that’s okay; Jiji told him that it was normal, after the ordeal that he went through ). 

( CODE PINK: missing child; Uchiha Sasuke, age 8, last seen in his room wearing a black t-shirt and grey pants. if you see him or have any information about his whereabouts, please contact security personnel or anyone of the ANBU stationed in the hospital. )

Worry burrows itself deep in the crevices of his chest, heart hammering as he turns to look at his guardian, ocean blue eyes wide with fear. Had the Monster that destroyed the Uchiha Clan returned to finish Sasuke off? No, no—he can’t lose his best friend, he just can’t ( and Ino-flower would cry and he hates seeing girls cry because he’ll cry and and and — )

“Jiji, do you—do you think Sasumato—”

His godfather squats in front of him and looks directly at him, placing a large, warm hand on his small shoulder ( the warmth seeps into him, and the panic ebbs away, though it’s there, bubbling under the surface ). “Naruto, they’ll find him. I am certain of it. There are only so many places he can hide.” 

What he doesn’t say, though, is that there are less savory folk that would pay a pretty penny for the last survivor of the Uchiha Clan, that they’ll be on the move now that he’s alone and vulnerable. Instead, he smiles at his young charge and promises to take him out for ramen. That distracts him, at least, and they slip out of the hospital before anyone else notices them. 

( Jiraiya hopes they find the young Uchiha before the hunter-ninja finds him ). 

* * *

By the time Sasuke reaches the halfway point between the gates and his home, the rains begin; a torrent of water pouring down from the heavens. The gentle symphony of hundreds of droplets hitting the earth and rumbling in the distance was divine after the eerie silence that accentuated his journey up until then; the pleasant aroma of the wet earth wafting into his nostrils reminds him of a gentler time. The droplets hang on his lashes, slide down his cheek, and cling to his shirt like a second skin, cooling him. 

He squashes the childish urge to jump in the puddles; he’s no longer a child — by default, he is the clan head ( of a clan that is all but extinct; what is he if not the lord of ashes? but like the phoenix of his obaasan’s stories, he would rise from the ashes and so would the Uchiha clan ), he must behave with dignity befitting the head of an ancient and noble clan, as his chichiue had before his death, as his sobojo had ( _one of the greatest clan heads_ , his kaasan said, loved by her people, _feared_ by her enemies ). clan heads do not play in puddles. 

( a child, he’s a child—

look at what you did, itachi )

Streaks of white crackle against the ash-dark firmament, their blinding incandescence like a memory of the ceremonial fire that once burned bright in the southern temple; an untamed force echoes across the landscape, the intensity of it resonating deep within Sasuke’s very core. A loud keening noise rises over the din, growing louder and louder until it vibrates in his ears until it rattles his bones and sets his teeth on edge. 

He stands before his childhood home, blood rushing to his ears, hands shaking—

_( a thick blanket of darkness envelops the house, dense and silent; the kind that robs him of his senses and leaves him paralyzed with fear — though that's not all that does it : the bodies that litter the ground, the blood that trails from the district gates to the clan head’s manor, the fear of his parents suffering the same fate as the others in the district._

_“Haha-ue? Chichiue?” he calls out into the inky darkness, heart pounding in his ears._

_a dense silence meets his calls and for a second, he wonders if his parents are home. maybe they aren’t home, maybe—_

_the sound of something ( a body ? nononono please no ) hitting the ground, then another loud thump. he’s paralyzed with fear and he can’t move—_

_his mother lies on the ground, beside her is her husband, throat cut so deep that the bone shines in the darkness )_

He takes a deep shuddering breath as he steps foot in childhood home; the power of the seals and wards prickling like teeth against his skin, slipping through his veins to circle his bones, accepting him as the new owner of the Uchiha Manor ( there will be another ceremony, later, to proclaim him the leader of the clan; an ancient ceremony he will have to perform without the priests or his kin, another thing stolen from him by That Man ). He moves through his house at a brisk pace, ignoring the water that drips from him, eyes focused on the path ahead of him until —

A beautiful woman sits on his bed, the fabric of her red junihitoe arranged perfectly around her, the faded green dinosaur toy on her lap drab in comparison to the silk she wraps herself in. She’s turned away from him, watching the storm with what he can only assume is fascination ( she doesn’t seem to notice that he is there ), her long elegant fingers absently stroking the stuffed dinosaur toy. But he sees _her_ , in the gentle curve of the stranger’s ( not stranger ) red-stained lips, the delicate slope of her nose. And for a fleeting moment, he dares to hope; but it can't be — it's impossible. She's—

"Okaasan?" His breathing hastens, the intense rhythm of his heartbeat quicker than lightning. 

The ornaments in her hair tinkle like wind chimes when she turns her head and when their eyes meet, tentacles of power brush along the slope of his cheekbones and seep into the spaces between his lungs, leaving him breathless. When he looks at her, he’s nearly blinded by the ethereal light radiating off her ( she’s something ancient and great. When he looks at her, he sees the stars in her eyes, an ancient power flickering within ). He shivers, though he does not know if it’s from the wetness on his skin or the power that radiates from his ( not ) mother. 

“Sasuke-chan,” her dulcet tones wash over him, like the tides of the shore. “ _Come_.” 

His lips quiver, the salty lense of his tears blurring his vision and streaming down his cheeks, melancholia hanging over him like a thick black cloud. The desire to seek refuge in the cocoon of his ( not ) mother’s arms burns through him like the fire that burns through his veins. But he isn’t a child anymore—he’s the Patriarch of the Uchiha Clan, he must—he must—

“Oh, my **brave** little yūrei,” Her tone softens, ancient eyes shining with understanding. “Your loss is great, but you needn’t undertake this burden by yourself.” 

With her words, the desire overtakes him and he throws himself into his ( not ) mother’s arms, tears running freely down his face. The storm of emotions that had been building up inside him bursts forth; great sobs shake his small body as he sinks into the warmth of her arms, bathing in the softness of her silk sleeves and the pleasing aroma of jasmine that surrounds her. His mother smelled like jasmine too—she had a bottle of jasmine perfume she wore, a gift from his father for their first wedding anniversary. And each morning she’d have a cup of jasmine tea. _Jasmine tea_ , she says when he asks her why she drinks Jasmine tea, _is my favorite_ ( and therefore it is his favorite ). 

“Kaasan, I—it hurts, it _hurts_ —” he wails, fingers clutching her kimono-like a lifeline, the bed shaking from the force of his sobs. anger burns through him, at Itachi, at the injustice of it all. 

After a while, his cries trickle down into moans and whimpers, face blotchy and red, half-dried tears hard on his skin. A wave of shame hits him; he isn’t a child anymore, he can’t give into his baser emotions ( the Uchiha are a passionate clan; their emotions run deep, more deeply than any other clan, and they’re taught, from an early age, to control their emotions so that their emotions do not control them ). Due to Itachi’s actions, he’s the Patriarch, he cannot afford to show weakness, not now. Not with the wolves nipping at his ankles. 

“Listen to me, Sasuke-chan,” her tone is soft, but now there’s an edge of steel, and he forces himself to look at her through the haze of his half-dried tears. “Uchiha Itachi—”

( he flinches when she says the traitor’s name )

“Has committed an immortal crime against mortals. This is our domain, and we shall seek justice for ourselves and your clan. He is forsaken. You are not.” 

( but he has to avenge his clan—he has to, as the Patriarch. He must restore the honor of his clan —)

He rests his head on her lap, an old tiredness settling deep in his bones ( he’s so tired, so so **very** tired ). Her fingers stroke the skin on his neck and he falls asleep to the lullaby of his childhood. 

**Author's Note:**

> Haha-ue and chichiue are the formal version of mother and father. Sasuke uses chichiue because Fugaku was the Clan Leader/Patriarch of the Uchiha Clan, and Uchiha traditions dictate that children of the clan head use the formal word when addressing or referring to their father ( this is also the same in the Hyuga Clan, as they are just as traditional as the Uchiha, if not more ). He uses haha-ue in public, but okaasan / kaasan in private. Sobo-jo is the formal version of grandmother, which he uses for his father’s mother, who was Clan Leader before Fugaku. Obaasan is used for Mikoto’s mother because he’s close to her and because she isn’t the head of the clan. 
> 
> this story will be written side-by-side with moonlight drowns out all but the brightest stars, and is set in the same au universe. consider this a prequel, of sorts, set directly after the uchiha massacre , continuing on through the gang’s academy years, with minimal spoilers for moonlight. this is mainly sasuke-centric, but will have chapters that are dedicated to the other characters ( ie. naruto, ino, original characters, etc ). this explores sasuke’s trauma directly after the massacre, and will showcase how the trauma affects his relationships with his friends, age mates and other adults in the village.
> 
> as with the other stories, there will be worldbuilding and lore sprinkled throughout the fic; sasuke is semi-religious and worships the gods that he grew up with, and after the massacre, he clung onto the religion, folklore and traditions of his people, as it’s the only thing he has left. other characters are the same : they have their own religion that may be inspired by shinto and other real life religions but are not exactly the same. as such, many of the shinobi / clans in konoha are not as religious or traditional as the uchiha and the hyuga. 
> 
> there will be discussions of and descriptions of trauma, mental illness, suicidal ideation, self-harm, flashbacks, gaslighting, violence and feral behavior, among other things. i will post warnings at the beginning of each chapter that includes these. so please heed the warnings when they show up, especially the suicidal ideation, gaslighting and self-harm! i want you to be safe. 
> 
> no shippy things, but there are some platonic relationships in this fic that i will explore, friendships that form earlier than canon, and, of course, sasuke’s complicated relationship with his brother. as i said in the other fic, actual romantic ships don’t happen until the shippuden era, or post-shippuden era. 
> 
> hope you enjoyed this chapter, please let me know what you think below. [join the discord server](https://discord.gg/rPVk7DX) to get updates and chat with the author/other fans.


End file.
